Tag Archives: Preconception Stress

Don’t worry be happy (title stolen from someone else’s blog)

I read an excellent and very true blog post this morning on http://tiredoftryingtoconcieve.wordpress.com entitled “Don’t worry be happy”. The author made a true comment that takes me back to my previous post “Stress and TTC …”.

Too much pressure is placed on couples to have babies. I am sure 99.9% of newlyweds can relate to this situation – you are back from honeymoon, at a family wedding and bang, some aunt that you are sure you are not even related to comes up to you, rubs your belly and the inevitable question of “so when is there going to be a bun in the oven?” pops up. You are put on the spot time and time again and people don’t accept any excuse or reason for not jumping straight into becoming parents. In my case I almost told a family member that Ryan and I had decided not to have children just to shut her up.

All around you people are popping out babies left, right and centre and you slowly start to believe maybe you should also be jumping onto the parent wagon. Endless thoughts such as “everyone else is having babies”, “they have been married 2 years less than us and they have a baby”, “your fertility decreases the closer you get the 30 so maybe I should start trying soon before we can’t have a baby”, “so and so is battling to have a baby so we must try in case we battle” etc. consume our minds adding further stress. Stress you don’t need before you have even decided to start “trying”.

I think the internet can be blamed in part for the every growing pressure on couples TTC – not a day goes by where I don’t read about people’s TTC horror stories on the endless blogs, forums, discussions boards and so on that there are on the internet. The couples thoughts of let’s just go with the flow, take all the stress out of TTC, have fun and when it (falling pregnant) happens it happens, are quickly turned to thoughts of what happens if that horror story happens to us?! I am guilty of this – Ryan and I took the stance that for the first 6 months we would stop trying for me NOT to fall pregnant and if it happens in those 6 months that’s great. After those 6 months we would then join the ATTC (Actively Trying To Conceive) group. I from the first day of not being on the pill have already been disappointed it didn’t happen straight away.

The author of “tiredoftryingtoconcieve” makes a very valid point and has put things into perspective for me. Couples who are TTC should (in her words) “enjoy life, enjoy my time without children at the moment, enjoy time just me and my husband alone because I will eventually never get that back, enjoy my work, enjoy my girlfriend, enjoy lay ins and some!”

Life will change completely when 2 become 3 so I am going to stop reading horror stories and enjoy every moment of the journey together … after all it is supposed to be fun.

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Stress and TTC …

They (whoever “they” are) say that you shouldn’t stress while trying to fall pregnant but the more I am getting into the whole world of TTC (Trying to Conceive) the more I seem to worry about things that previously wouldn’t even get a second thought.

Take today as an example – I have a swollen gym that needed to be seen by a dentist.  Without even asking if I am pregnant the doctor whoops out his x-ray machine and takes an x-ray of my mouth. 1 injection and tons of mouth mangling later he starts scribbling on his script pad and hands me a script for an anti-biotic. This 15 minute appointment sends me into stress overload!

STRESS 1 – every time you go to the x-ray department there is always a sign … PLEASE TELL US IF YOU ARE PREGNANT!

STRESS 2 –  every website you visit that mentions the term TTC says that you should follow the same rules of pregnancy even when trying to fall pregnant i.e. don’t take unnecessary medicine and make sure you check with your doctor that the medicine you are taking is safe for your unborn baby.

So my stress comes into play because what happens if I am pregnant and don’t even know I am and I end up taking something that could harm the baby that I wouldn’t even know I am having yet?

Conclusion – back in the day when our moms were trying to make us they didn’t have access to all the info we have on the internet now so I am sure at least once they did something they weren’t supposed to when we were already in the making … and we all turned out fine! So I must stop stressing else I will never fall pregnant!

Conclusion 2 – I would rather go for a gynae appointment then go to the dentist and I am sure lots of women agree with me.