I haven’t written in ages but basically will sum up the last few weeks in a few lines …
Played the waiting game for the second red robot after coming off the pill which never came, did a pregnancy test which was positive, didn’t believe it so went for blood tests, got call from doctor to say I was pregnant and 4 hours later had a miscarriage (the doctor says it was a blighted ovum – more details to follow). So now for the first time in my life I am actually wishing the red robot would make an appearance so that we can start the baby making process again.
How am I doing you probably asking … well I am a ball of emotions which I am blaming on my hormones which don’t know if they are coming or going? I am not too upset about the miscarriage because a. it didn’t have time to sink in, b. if it’s not a viable pregnancy then your body will naturally sort it out in the form of a miscarriage and c. it supposedly happens to 1 in 4 women on their first pregnancy so I am just part of a very common occurrence.
So I have done some research into a blighted ovum miscarriage for anyone who is interested in what it actually is.
A blighted ovum is an early pregnancy failure that happens when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but the resulting embryo either stops developing very early or doesn’t form at all. So basically your body starts to secret the hCG hormone (human Chorionic Gonadotropin aka. the pregnancy hormone) because the placenta begins to develop and therefore you start getting early pregnancy symptoms. The pregnancy test shows up positive however the embryo actually doesn’t develop usually due to chromosomal abnormalities caused by abnormal cell division or poor sperm or egg quality. The blighted ovum results in either bleeding (early miscarriage) or when an ultrasound test is done an empty gestational sac is seen. A women’s body is programmed to recognize abnormal chromosomes in the foetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the foetus will not develop into a healthy baby. Early pregnancy failures seems to happen quite frequently with most women especially with their first pregnancy, not even realising they were pregnant before they start bleeding and mistake the miscarriage for a period.
I hope you found this post interesting and maybe have learnt something you didn’t know … hopefully in a few weeks I have some positive news … at least one things for sure … I know we are both fertile and I can fall pregnant.
I read an excellent and very true blog post this morning on http://tiredoftryingtoconcieve.wordpress.com entitled “Don’t worry be happy”. The author made a true comment that takes me back to my previous post “Stress and TTC …”.
Too much pressure is placed on couples to have babies. I am sure 99.9% of newlyweds can relate to this situation – you are back from honeymoon, at a family wedding and bang, some aunt that you are sure you are not even related to comes up to you, rubs your belly and the inevitable question of “so when is there going to be a bun in the oven?” pops up. You are put on the spot time and time again and people don’t accept any excuse or reason for not jumping straight into becoming parents. In my case I almost told a family member that Ryan and I had decided not to have children just to shut her up.
All around you people are popping out babies left, right and centre and you slowly start to believe maybe you should also be jumping onto the parent wagon. Endless thoughts such as “everyone else is having babies”, “they have been married 2 years less than us and they have a baby”, “your fertility decreases the closer you get the 30 so maybe I should start trying soon before we can’t have a baby”, “so and so is battling to have a baby so we must try in case we battle” etc. consume our minds adding further stress. Stress you don’t need before you have even decided to start “trying”.
I think the internet can be blamed in part for the every growing pressure on couples TTC – not a day goes by where I don’t read about people’s TTC horror stories on the endless blogs, forums, discussions boards and so on that there are on the internet. The couples thoughts of let’s just go with the flow, take all the stress out of TTC, have fun and when it (falling pregnant) happens it happens, are quickly turned to thoughts of what happens if that horror story happens to us?! I am guilty of this – Ryan and I took the stance that for the first 6 months we would stop trying for me NOT to fall pregnant and if it happens in those 6 months that’s great. After those 6 months we would then join the ATTC (Actively Trying To Conceive) group. I from the first day of not being on the pill have already been disappointed it didn’t happen straight away.
The author of “tiredoftryingtoconcieve” makes a very valid point and has put things into perspective for me. Couples who are TTC should (in her words) “enjoy life, enjoy my time without children at the moment, enjoy time just me and my husband alone because I will eventually never get that back, enjoy my work, enjoy my girlfriend, enjoy lay ins and some!”
Life will change completely when 2 become 3 so I am going to stop reading horror stories and enjoy every moment of the journey together … after all it is supposed to be fun.
Almost a month into the bellybean making process and the good news is the red robot arrived on time for me to have a drink or two at my sister in law’s kitchen tea/bachelorette on Saturday. It was something that was bugging me a bit if perhaps I was pregnant from our first month of trying and didn’t know it. The second good thing is that after 13 years of being on the pill my natural hormones seem to be somewhat normal, give or take a few days, and can only hope they stay like that.
My realisation on the weekend – Ryan is 110% ready to be a daddy so let’s hope the process doesn’t take too long. I was walking back from fetching something in the garage and there my husband is sitting on the end of our patio with our spaniel Mishka cradled on her back on Ryan’s lap. He looks up at me, smiles and says “I am so ready to be a dad”. If he spoils our baby one day as much as he spoils the dog … he/she is going to be one very loved and spoilt child!
Anyway, that all from me today – just thought I would let you know I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet (or fallen pregnant yet) and still look forward to sharing this journey with you all.
They (whoever “they” are) say that you shouldn’t stress while trying to fall pregnant but the more I am getting into the whole world of TTC (Trying to Conceive) the more I seem to worry about things that previously wouldn’t even get a second thought.
Take today as an example – I have a swollen gym that needed to be seen by a dentist. Without even asking if I am pregnant the doctor whoops out his x-ray machine and takes an x-ray of my mouth. 1 injection and tons of mouth mangling later he starts scribbling on his script pad and hands me a script for an anti-biotic. This 15 minute appointment sends me into stress overload!
STRESS 1 – every time you go to the x-ray department there is always a sign … PLEASE TELL US IF YOU ARE PREGNANT!
STRESS 2 – every website you visit that mentions the term TTC says that you should follow the same rules of pregnancy even when trying to fall pregnant i.e. don’t take unnecessary medicine and make sure you check with your doctor that the medicine you are taking is safe for your unborn baby.
So my stress comes into play because what happens if I am pregnant and don’t even know I am and I end up taking something that could harm the baby that I wouldn’t even know I am having yet?
Conclusion – back in the day when our moms were trying to make us they didn’t have access to all the info we have on the internet now so I am sure at least once they did something they weren’t supposed to when we were already in the making … and we all turned out fine! So I must stop stressing else I will never fall pregnant!
Conclusion 2 – I would rather go for a gynae appointment then go to the dentist and I am sure lots of women agree with me.
Think this picture speaks for itself!
Not feeling very “bloggy” and inspired today but had to share the day I took my last active pill – so now I just got to get through the “red robot” as Ryan puts it (cringe moment – I told you I would be honest) and then hopefully my cycle/skin/weight /moods etc. don’t go haywire on me and I end up looking like a “fat, crater-faced, my husband will definitely not find me attractive, head in the sand like an ostrich” wife.
EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK – think this whole new journey is starting to become a reality!
This idea for a blog popped into my mind after coming back from Clicks Pharmacy about 6 weeks ago with a pill box filled with 60 5mg little folic acid tablets. So in case the folic acid wasn’t a big enough clue into why I am writing this blog … yes Ryan (aka hubby) and I have decided it’s time to try turn 2 Forsythes into 3 .
In January I went for my yearly check up at the gynae – after going through the usual awkward moments essential to checking up on the lady bits the doc looks at my file, looks at my ring finger and says “so you have been married for a bit yet … have you got any plans to have a baby?”. After the initial shock that he actually asked that question and a few moments of contemplation I said yes this may be the year. Before I knew it I was walking out with a referral letter to get my blood checked for German measles and a script for folic acid and instructions that a month before I go off the pill I must start taking 400mcg of folic acid.
I thought I would be an over achiever (as some may call it) and go get some folic acid 2 months before my pill script came to an end at the end of June. I asked the pharmacist if I could have some folic acid and was given a box of 60 x 5mg tablets with a label that said take as necessary. This was my first problem – I didn’t realise that “mcg grams” and “mg grams” were not the same thing so I did the maths and worked out if I was going to get the recommended amount I would need to consume 80 tables a day – didn’t think my maths was wrong and decided to take 5 tablets twice a day and check with the pharmacist that they didn’t have 100mg tablets the next time I went.
Of course Ryan though that guzzling these pills down my throat may not be a good idea and suggested I do some research. My first point of call was back to the pharmacy – the girl doubled checked my maths on a calculator, chatted to one of her colleagues and come to the conclusion that I must take 20 tablets a day. She was quite convinced that was the correct amount and assured me that an over dose of folic acid would do no harm to my body in fact it would do wonders for my hair and nails.
At this point any doctor would probably be in hysterics – here is me guzzling down even more pills then I had previously waiting for my nails and hair to super-size all well making sure what ever folic acid does for “conception system” does its thing.
After searching the internet I finally discovered that 5mg is in fact equal to 5000mcg so it seems I clearly had been over dosing and 1 tablet a day is more than adequate (I do stand under correction if anyone wants to add more info). Continue reading and so the greatest journey of our lives begins …