I read an excellent and very true blog post this morning on http://tiredoftryingtoconcieve.wordpress.com entitled “Don’t worry be happy”. The author made a true comment that takes me back to my previous post “Stress and TTC …”.
Too much pressure is placed on couples to have babies. I am sure 99.9% of newlyweds can relate to this situation – you are back from honeymoon, at a family wedding and bang, some aunt that you are sure you are not even related to comes up to you, rubs your belly and the inevitable question of “so when is there going to be a bun in the oven?” pops up. You are put on the spot time and time again and people don’t accept any excuse or reason for not jumping straight into becoming parents. In my case I almost told a family member that Ryan and I had decided not to have children just to shut her up.
All around you people are popping out babies left, right and centre and you slowly start to believe maybe you should also be jumping onto the parent wagon. Endless thoughts such as “everyone else is having babies”, “they have been married 2 years less than us and they have a baby”, “your fertility decreases the closer you get the 30 so maybe I should start trying soon before we can’t have a baby”, “so and so is battling to have a baby so we must try in case we battle” etc. consume our minds adding further stress. Stress you don’t need before you have even decided to start “trying”.
I think the internet can be blamed in part for the every growing pressure on couples TTC – not a day goes by where I don’t read about people’s TTC horror stories on the endless blogs, forums, discussions boards and so on that there are on the internet. The couples thoughts of let’s just go with the flow, take all the stress out of TTC, have fun and when it (falling pregnant) happens it happens, are quickly turned to thoughts of what happens if that horror story happens to us?! I am guilty of this – Ryan and I took the stance that for the first 6 months we would stop trying for me NOT to fall pregnant and if it happens in those 6 months that’s great. After those 6 months we would then join the ATTC (Actively Trying To Conceive) group. I from the first day of not being on the pill have already been disappointed it didn’t happen straight away.
The author of “tiredoftryingtoconcieve” makes a very valid point and has put things into perspective for me. Couples who are TTC should (in her words) “enjoy life, enjoy my time without children at the moment, enjoy time just me and my husband alone because I will eventually never get that back, enjoy my work, enjoy my girlfriend, enjoy lay ins and some!”
Life will change completely when 2 become 3 so I am going to stop reading horror stories and enjoy every moment of the journey together … after all it is supposed to be fun.